By now, I'm sure that you've heard about the political mess I'm in...thanks to some of my staffers who told me NOTHING about the little prank they pulled. But even though it wasn't my fault, I still want to apologize for it.
It all started back when I was running for reelection as the National Representative for the International Guild of Adult Film Actors (IGAFA). As many of you know, porn director Jeremy Lustleather did not endorse me. Well, some of my staffers...without my knowledge...sought revenge on Lustleather.
At the time, he was directing is latest film, Pacific Rimming. He and his crew were scheduled to film an outdoor sex scene in a remote area. Some of my staffers...without my knowledge...put detour signs up nearby, directing highway travelers to a gravel road, forcing them to drive past the location where the scene was being filmed.
It was a real mess. Not only did they delay the filming of the scene, but it caused a lot of traffic problems. A coal truck got turned over. Cars got flat tires. People were late for funerals. Some people missed a Zoroastrian worship service because of the delay.
Even though I didn't know anything about this, and even though I had no idea that some of the people on my staff were behind this, I apologized at my press conference anyway. I said, "It's not my fault, but I take full responsibility for this incident. You can't blame me, but I'm still sorry. I sincerely apologize for this incident that I had nothing to do with."
I hope this doesn't spoil my chances for a possible bid to become the president of IGAFA.
"Pacific Rimming". lol
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