He's Just Not That into Your Constant Criticism

These are the words every man dreads to hear: "Honey, you need to read this book! It will improve our relationship!"

Next time you're in a bookstore, browse through the books in the self-help/relationship section. You will find that most of them are written for women, by women. And most of these books say the same thing: Men are jerks and women are perfect. In other words:

• When a woman expresses what she wants from her partner, she is being assertive.
• When a man expresses what he wants from his partner, he is being a controlling, self-centered jerk.
• When a woman raises her voice, she is expressing herself.
  
• When a man raises his voice, he is being verbally abusive.
• When a woman wants to remain single, it's because she feels fulfilled without a man.
  
• When a man wants to remain single, he's afraid to commit.
• Women need to express their anger. 
•  Men need anger management.

When a man expresses negative generalities about women, he's called a sexist...or a rap artist. So why the double standard when it comes to women who male bash? Because there's money to be made in male bashing! And there is a self-help industry out there that specializes in the myth that all failed relationships are the fault of the man.

And that's why I have started writing a book about relationships. Maybe you can help me choose the title of my forthcoming book. Here are some ideas:

• How to Threaten Suicide Every Time He Tries to Leave: The Art of Solution-Focused Manipulation
• Women Are from Harvard; Men Are from Reform School
• He Will Leave You Unless You Learn How to Control Him: And Here's How You Do It
• Your Man Hates You for Your Freedom and Other Lessons from 9/11
• The Four Spiritual Laws of How to Control Your Man without Him Realizing It
• He Left You Because You Were Perfect
• How to Be Like His Mother: And How to Accuse Him of Having Unresolved Issues with His Mother When He Complains About It
• Win Back the Man You Love with Anonymous Death Threats
• Women Who Have a Fear of Abandonment and the Men Who Abandon Them Just for the Hell of It
• The New Assertive Women and the Men Who Leave Them for No Apparent Reason
• Putting Yourself First (Unless He Decides to Leave You)
• When Your Husband Disagrees with You, He Is Destroying the Self-Esteem of the Mother of His Children: Make Him Read this Book

I think all these titles has bestseller written all over it. I just wonder which title would be more likely to make Oprah's book club.

(This blog entry originally appeared on my MySpace blog, Jan 26, 2009.)